Remember This?
Screen Play
I thought of my own family
action-comedy plot that may entertain you.
First, let me give you some background. Michelle bought me a jogging stroller for Father's Day. Bless her soul. I love it. It is a scientific
wonder to me.
As I run along behind it, I am hardly aware I am using it. It glides.
Even with the added weight of Sophia, the diaper bag, bottles of water
and milk, and other necessities, it thrusts forward. With
pockets, pouches, and a large under-side basket, I imagine I could
pack away enough essentials to do a jogging tour of Europe. The front and
rear shocks give the stroller all-terrain capability. I have tested it on
overgrown grass and dirt.
I was jogging along Sochi Friendship Grove when I marvelled at the conveniences
of Modern Man. Can you imagine what the Cave Man or Midieval Man would think
of this mobile contrivance? There upon, the outline of a screen play came
upon me.
The idea starts with the familiar time travel plot. Add a twist
of the family action-comedy.
With the opening credits, we develop the background
on the young father. He is a modern dad: he changes diapers, bottle-feeds,
and reads to his baby daughter. He does his best to balance baby and life.
We see clips of him innovating ways to exercise with baby: bench-pressing
baby, arm curls with baby, etc. Finally, the opening scene shows dad getting
a jogging stroller and excitedly getting baby ready for their first run.
Only
this is no ordinary jogging stroller. Mom explains, it is an experimental
design that her reclusive engineer brother put together after he lost his
job at the defense department. Some foreboding about the strange things her
brother has been up to.
The stroller has GPS navigation system for determining
speed and location. A built-in
CD
system with
stereo speakers. A heads-up infrared display allows night vision.
The tires have an automatic pressure system to adapt to all terrains. A
compact underside
carriage
supports
a
small refrigeration system powered by solar panels stitched into the all-weather
fabric. Mom demonstrates the special fabric is inpenetrable to golf
balls and sharp objects. This is a super stroller for
a super dad.
Eager to try it out, dad almost leaves without the baby. He decides the
first outing will include a stop at his brother-in-law's house to thank him
for this wonderful gift. The tempo picks up. We see dad gliding along
and trying out different features of the stroller at the park, in the alley,
cutting through traffic. Zoom shots of baby reveal other features of
the stroller: an onboard DVD system featuring cartoons. Toys and trinkets
that fold out of the fabric. Baby is near as happy as dad.
A little winded, Dad comes upon the brother-in-law's house. The yard is
neglected and the house seems to emit a strange light. He can hear loud
noises inside. Nobody answers the door bell. With stroller, dad decides
to enter through the side door on the garage. As chance would have it, he
stumbles right into his reclusive brother-in-law's latest experiment: a time
travel device. After what seems
an electrical storm, we see dad, stroller, and baby vanish into thin air.
The brother-in-law is startled by the surprise entrance. He despairs as
he realizes what he has done.
From here, the movie forks into two loosely-connected plots. On the one
hand, we have dad and baby transported to the past. On the other, we have
brother-in-law
and
wife trying to get them back to the present: unsuccessful attempts actually
have the effect of moving dad and baby further back in the past before a
final attempt brings them home.
At first, although disoriented, dad successfully navigates his way through
the open terrain of the Old West. Then he runs out of his supply
of breast
milk
and diapers.
The Super Dad we once knew is desperate and disoriented. Discovered by a
cadre of outlaws, Dad and the shiney stroller attract unwanted attention.
Action scenes insue where Dad narrowly outruns and outwits the horse back
outlaws
using the technological sophistication of the stroller. Finally, he is saved
by a farmer's wife who sympathizes with the baby.
Dad befriends the farmer's wife. Soon he is trading her breast milk and
rudimentary diapers for his babysitting and transportation services. The
drama here is that
Super Dad is forced to nurse babies the old fashioned way - without
modern conveniences. Meanwhile, his modern Dad enthusiasm for child-rearing
changes
the women's
expectations of what their cowboy husbands can do. As the angry cowboys try
to run Dad and baby out of town, coincidentally the brother-in-law and wife
attempt to bring them back, only to transport them further away in time.
Again disorientated, Dad navigates his way through a pre-civilization terrain.
We repeat the drama of the Old West formula, only this time the child-rearing
is much harder with less conveniences. Super Dad is getting a real lesson
in the hard life of suffering moms. This is the forgotten history. Alexander
the Great and other heros are in the background. We see the daily, forgotten
heroics of our ancient mothers who raised families quietly alongside the
restless, warring ambitions of men.
For some humor, the women start to catch-on to the innovation of
the stroller. We see wooden carriages with stone wheels being fashined together
with leafage. The men hijack the design to create carriages for their war
supplies.
Finally, the stroller is destroyed in an adventure sequence that climaxes
right as Dad and baby are transported back to the present. Baby and mom are
reunited. Dad returns to nursing baby, exhibiting his new found skills, and
his workaday routine. The End.
I admit it is corny but better than some movies I have seen lately. I could
see Ben Stiller as the dad. Hollywood, where do I start?
